Your Eating Disorder Is Valid.



More ED content here: -Inside The Sick World of Anorexia Fetishists /Heavy TW!/ – -Pro Anorexia Meetups of the Early 2000s: What …

40 Comments

  1. This video is so important. I've always been underweight through my ED but I did yoyo a lot in that range of being ever sicker and a not-yet-healthy weight but that latter looked kinda healthy from the outside because I was also eating well, but the thoughts and compensatory mechanisms were always there. And the insane amount of guilt. Had to dismiss a lot of "you are still not well?"s as it was that easy to recover and managing not to get triggered by people constantly complimenting my weight (which was unhealthy for me) and comments on my food (too much, too little, too weird, just let me eat alone. still cant eat with certain people as they cannot resist the comments)
    I also read some books on EDs and while they momentarily frightened me, they also strenghtened my "I'm not sick enough" thoughts.
    And yes to not necessarily recovering as an in-patient. I was inpatient a few times before I truly determined I was going to recover, and while I was doing relatively well there, it was too fast for me, I couldnt control it (while control is the biggest thing with EDs) and every time I got back out, I had to eat in the real life, which was way harder. Also, suplementary drinks were prescribed to me and I had a hard time leaving out those from my diet and not relapse, but I finally managed it and that was exactly what I needed, to figure it out on my own and adapt it to real life.
    For me it was experiencing some severe physical effects and realising how my ED infantilises me and hinders me from growing up and being independent (which I wanted) that lead me to choose recovery. Sorry for the novel but I rarely comment ED stuff and I was having bad thought today so wanted to write some out.

  2. Ah yes that time I was sent to a therapist when I was in high school by my parents. Told her I was self harming and her answer was, and I quote, "we do that sometimes". Didn't want to know nothing more about it, didn't take me serious at all. Safe to say I didn't open up further after that and got more messed up only, didn't go to her for very long. Fell into multiple self destructive behaviours afterwards and only now 4 years later I'm looking back into getting a therapist, a good one this time to really get help.

  3. I still struggle with mine; even tho I'm healthier now, I struggle. I have always just changed one routine for another. People look at me & don't see it because I don't "look" like the traditional ED girl… that has always frustrated me. I always felt like I couldn't even be a "good anorexic" or a "good bulimic" because I never had the "look". I know that sounds messed up; like I said, I still struggle. I don't think I have EVER NOT been doing my "routines" & I'm 47 now.

  4. Having an eating disorder and trying to recover from an eating disorder, beingg bloated and hormonal has evoked a whole new kind of evil hell please make a video or give some kindof advice to your experiences with it and any advice you would give to someone going through that as a trigger

  5. Fuck. This hit home. I always wonder if I really need help from a professional or if they'll look at me and say that I'm being a baby. I always try to mentally remind myself that the fact that I am even wondering about this is a sign that I SHOULD get help.

  6. Thank you. I actually did have a doctor tell me i look fine, my bmi is fine, and if i can eat with my husband at night then maybe that’s fine?

    Yes that is the reason i haven’t been back since

  7. This has been the most shocking channel I’ve ever found because this made me realize I’ve had an eating disorder for years and didn’t even realize it. I didn’t actively aim for it or look into forums but due to my lack of understanding on the ED community I didn’t even know I had a problem until your videos. Now that I understand how much of a problem I have I’m now able to get help for myself. Thank you for that.

  8. Totally agreed! The worst are the benefits people who look at you on the assessment and say you look normal and not too skinny, they can make you go through a lot of weight loss just to prove yourself…

  9. I had an eating disorder last year. I started out about 4 stone overweight and starved myself on very few calories a day for months and exercised for 6 hours a day. I ended up losing 3 stone and fractured both my thighs because I was so malnourished and lost my periods.Thing is, I was technically still overweight. I had starved myself for months yet youd never know it. That is an example of invisible eating disorder. People kept telling me how great I looked losing this weight, if only they knew how I lost it…

  10. I hope you realize how helpful this video has been. I've had disordered eating since I was about 18. I remember it starting with someone telling me I should (serious real quote) "bulimic or something," and never realized at the time that my body was fine. I would not eat for days and then, due to stress or whatever, binge for over a week, sometimes to the point where I'd eat so much that I'd have to purge. I thought I had gotten everything under control when I started focusing on a healthy lifestyle, but then big scary COVID happened and confinement. I fell back into old habits, refusing to eat because I didn't want to gain the weight that I had finally lost (after I regulated my eating, still having issues with metabolism but I was getting it under control). It's a process and I've been afraid to speak about it because it never seemed like I was doing enough. Thank you so much for this video.

  11. I have a binge eating disorder and I've NEVER felt validated or like I was experiencing a real issue, I'd have meltdowns on my kitchen floor because I physically couldn't stop eating and then get into bed thinking I simply have no self control and that I was just being a pig. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear this. Love you ❤️ you are truly doing god's work for us.

  12. I just have to say I LOVE your makeup!! I love how you blend the colors and your such an incredible person. Everything about you is so beautiful 🤩 the style is very unique and I know this has nothing to do with the topic of this video but will you please tell me where you get your eyeshadow from because I really love it!! I also love the choker your wearing with the ankh symbol. I would really love to know where you get your liner and makeup from, I must know! 💋❤️

  13. I have been helping myself and relying on myself to get me out of my ED, and when I finally gathered the strength to tell my mom what was up with me and how I had and still have an eating disorder, she didn't believe a word I said. She just says "oh you were just skinny". Since I have gained quite a bit of weight and I've been doing quite well, she always makes comments about how I should go on more walks and lose some weight to fit back into my jeans and its been making me have some really self destructive thoughts. It truly sucks that you can't always rely on your parents to get the help you need.

    However, I absolutely love and needed this message today. My eating disorder is valid and I can do this.

  14. No therapists will take me until I’m fully recovered. I’m trying to detox myself and everyone tells me they won’t take me until I’m out of inpatient and then I have to go to intensive outpatient. It’s really frustrating because my mother claims me on her insurance and I can’t get proper treatment without losing my family. Just venting sorry.

  15. when I was anorexic in highschool, my therapist tried to say my disorder was rooted in a bad relationship with my father…it was so frustrating because I literally told her that I was just always overweight (well, not as a toddler, but as soon as I was about 8 or 9 years old) and tired of feeling like the ugliest, fattest person in any room I found myself in.
    when I was 12, I went on my first diet. my mom was overweight and didn't want me to end up like her, she didn't want me to end up suffering with low self esteem due to my weight, but the low self esteem was already there. I'm 34 currently. I've spent nearly 2/3rds of my life being acutely aware of and hating my body.
    i know it's sick but I've always put anorexia on this…high pedestal, compared to bulimia. my brain tells me that bulimia is disgusting, I'm out of control when I'm doing it, but anorexia is pristine and strong.

  16. I have a horrible relationship with food and exercise; if I don't pay attention I go into obsessive mode where I cut a lot of calories, obsess over every gram, and binge exercise (is that how you say it?) for months and months at a time (usually lasts 1-2years). I lose a lot of weight and EVERYONE compliments me, without a clue that I'm usually at my worst mental health. I never felt I was sick enough to count as having an eating disorder, after all I wasn't eating 200 calories and doing 5 hrs of exercise, I was only doing 800 cals (for my height, quite low) and only 3hrs of exercise! Definitely not ED! rolls eyes at self Nowadays I heavily avoid calorie counting and making lists/commitments for exercise so I don't spiral into crazy town. Thank you for speaking so candidly on this, I really hope it helps others in those types of situations and mindsets.

  17. when i was looking for help, i was refused psychotherapy. they claimed anorexics don't have the capacity for change in therapy. apart from that, they offered nothing but hospitalisation, but my weight and blood values weren't bad enough for that option (according to my doctor). sometimes help is not available; i had to recover on my own.

  18. That hit hard when you mentioned the 27 club…. thank you for making these videos because they are so relatable and puts so much realization back into everything, especially when you feel you're relapsing. I'm about 27 and been suffering in and out for over ten years, and you don't even realize the time lapse… everything you said hit home hard! Been back and forth with this so much and for so long…
    It's crazy to think of being in the category where permanent damage starts to happen… obviously been aware of it all, but then having those moments when it hits you…. thank you for making this💗💗

  19. Because I am obese and started starving myself for weeks on end with small sips of water, and maybe 4 peanuts here and there, I am told I am too fat to have an eating disorder. It's really heart breaking when I finally came out for help and nobody took me seriously so I felt maybe Im undeserving of help.

  20. Can eating disorders not involve numbers? I struggle a lot with thinking i don't deserve to eat, but it's not about the weight to me. I don't think i deserve it. I haven't checked my weight in months and even when i did it was to weigh my dog. But i just, don't think i deserve food. Its been an on off issue pretty much my whole life. I don't know, i'm scared of not being taken seriously.

  21. I’m so happy you’ve made this video, because so many people need to hear this. I am recovered now, but when I was around 12-15 I had an “invisible eating disorder”. I always looked healthy and I was already receiving treatment for mental health problems, so I never even thought it was an option for me to seek therapy for an eating disorder. Looking back, I know how illogical it was, since I was binging like crazy and purging a bit, which meant I wasnt really gaining or loosing weight. Obviously, that is still a huge problem. 13 year old me needed to hear something like this. Things would have been so much easier for me if I had!

  22. oh man I feel that.. but so many people are like this, idk whether it's on purpose. sometimes there would be an implication like "oh, but then you weren't even at an all too deathly low weight, so what u say is invalid". But.. it's not about that? When it hinders you in your daily life and you're suffering, it damn well is valid.

  23. TW – this will blunt about my ed
    ive had an eating disorder for 4 years
    now. i started off as ednos at 14, at 15 i was diagnosed as bulimic and at 16 i had an awful experience with my psychiatrist in there which i won’t talk about but even thought i was a healthy weight, but on the lower end and had lost a noticeable amount, and he essentially told me i can do what i want. i’m now 18 and pretty underweight, as well as spending a lot of money on drugs, which has been a massive influence (that and 2020) on losing weight especially in the last few months and i’m losing weight fast right now. i know it’s wrong and i have told my therapist briefly about my recent ed symptoms and have also told my boyfriend that if he starts getting worried about me, emotionally as well as physically (he has dealt with exercise addiction in the past due to athletics and has an understanding) as i do have a very bad feeling this may not be an episode i can brush off this time and i may need to go to a nutritionist again this time, which scares me. ive always been self aware, and also completely relaxed about the whole thing. normally due to my self awareness i can keep myself fine, but 2020 has really done a number on me i think. when i was at inpatient for attempts, i was the middle of a healthy weight and absolutely miserable, so thank you for saying this also :))))

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